YOU know you’re in America when...
*The flight attendant on your Alaskan Airlines flight to Seattle is named Corky.
*The flight attendant on your Alaskan Airlines flight to Seattle is named Corky.
* There are no life jackets under the seats on your domestic flight, just seat cushions that will help you float should your aircraft crash into a large body of water.
* It takes longer to get through immigration at LAX than it does to buy something at Myer during the Boxing Day sales.
*There’s a big yellow school bus parked next to you at the traffic lights.
*The padlock on your suitcase has been smashed by a security guard at LAX.
*There are three channels showing live baseball games, another two broadcasting college football matches, and one covering the women’s basketball all at the same time.
*Gap...with the sale racks at the back of the store settling stuff for less than $20.
* Coming home from a jaunt to the shops carrying a stack of Gap, J Crew, Banana Republic, Old Navy, Macy's, Ann Taylor and Barnes & Noble bags.
* Signs in English and Spanish.
* People who think they are clever when they return your "good morning" with an enthusiastic "g'day mate".
* There are lots of as on the TV for prescription medication, and most of them include five-minute warnings about the side effects.
* Most of those commercials are advertising drugs that assist men with some form of erectile dysfunction.